"Take up room. Embrace your talents. It's okay to think you're beautiful."
Expressing myself from a place of objectivity after I’ve had time to process and reflect on a situation I was faced with recently.
It hurt, but I’m grateful for the courage, strength & wisdom it brought.
For the record, when you make assumptions about someone’s intentions and even make passive aggressive accusations without asking any questions or being curious to find out more — not only are you being hurtful by projecting your own pain onto others, you are also exposing your own character; your own lack of respect & integrity, empathy, and compassion.
Secondly, “support” is a two-way street. Every voice matters; every story matters.
I will listen to yours just as intently as I share mine. We can’t approach others in the adoption community (or any community, for that matter) like we are the only ones who have suffered. We have all suffered, and we all suffer differently. We can’t promote our own cause without being willing to listen to other perspectives and respond with grace. Take the time to get to know someone. Build genuine relationships. Connect. Reciprocate.
You can’t expect to make a positive impact by being argumentative - it just doesn’t work that way. This doesn’t mean I haven’t ever been argumentative. We’re human. But we‘re responsible for how we treat others, and it is our responsibility to navigate through our personal pain without lashing out at others (unless you want to look like an ass.) How about replacing “I don’t agree” with “help me understand.” Being curious about another’s pain is healing both for ourselves and for the other person.
Love can’t truly live where there’s a wrong or a right, so if not love, what are you really trying to promote? Because only love heals.
So let’s share. I’m listening.
If you are sincerely in this for the greater good, then you understand that part of what it really means to give back is finding ways to take our pain & loss and transforming them into gains for everyone else. If our hearts are in the right place, nothing else really matters.
Artist | Singer-Songwriter | Composer